My 2-1/2-year-old refuses to eat & sleep?

My daughter, since she was 1-month-old, never liked baby food etc and waked throughout most nights in her 1st year. Now, her pattern hasnt changed much. She still doesnt like food or fruits, no matter what or how attactive i serve them with even a variety..I always have to spoon feed her to ensure she is nourished. She will never sit and consume 1 meal a day or something. I still have to blend or grind fruits to make sure she it in her diet. She was feed only for 2 years and i have cut down to maybe only once or none a day so she refuses to drink regular milk overall along with disliking to eat food, fruits...she doesnt even like cookies, cakes, chocolates etc...only once my husband offered her a sweetie and she liked that and continued asking for it when she rememberes..obviouly i try to keep her away from direct sweetie..An hour will p and she will still have the milk in her hands until it eventually spills. Everynight she falls asleep after 11 pm and will wake from 5 am crying for breatsmilk and i ask her if she is hungry she says no she doesnt want food or that milk..ive tried on several occasion not to give her and she would cry incessantly. She woudnt even munch on a fruit or cookie. I have a niece and nephew her age who, from baby, would eat anything that comes their way. Another prob is that she is only says 'no' to all my statement or questions..She doesnt like to clean up after she plays. Only if i cleaning and ask her to help me then she might.. When she is playing with other kids or ppl she insists on getting something that they have if she likes whatever theyve got and will whine or cry incessantly until she gets it..if not, she still will continue crying ...I think of her as a whiny, spoiled child and i feel discouraged as a parent or failed as a mother, seeing my very own sisters not having to deal with this from as early as 1-month-old. Any advice would be greatl appreciated and thanx.